It's been a while...

I guess I could say that . Things have been a little hectic as of late. Well, they were hectic, now they're just mellowing out. I'm about half way through the week i took for vacation and I haven't done as damned thing but relax and play Anarchy Online.

Ok, so I went my parents house for Thanksgiving. It wasn't so bad this year. The last time I went down - which was two years ago - my sisters screamed at each other. I got depressed because everyone had their own families; you know, spouses, children and the like, while I was alone - having just had another failed relationship. I didn't even want to be around people right then and to see them yelling at each other just put me over the edge.

Anyway, it was a lot quieter this year and much more enjoyable. Not because my oldest sister and her family stayed away, but because everyone seemed to want to get along this year. Maybe it had something to so with my change in outlook as well.

But now on to other things. I'm still having problems with the next part of my story. So much so that I'm considering either a total rewrite of that part, or skipping ahead to when they finally get to Earth and then going back from there. I know the basic outline of what I want to happen, but have been trying to work linearly when my mind doesn't want to always accomodate me like that.

Then there's all the books I've been trying to read lately based on Paganism, Wicca and other subjects along that line. I'm fast running out of time in the day for anything else. It's getting to the point where I'm giong have to decide what I'm going to do on a particular day and work on that to the exclusion of everything else just to get the time for the different subjects in.

Well, That's all for now. I'll try to write more often from now on.

A New Home: Part 2A - Dreams of the Past

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What being a Pagan means to me...

I was going to title this; "I hereby dedicate my life to the Wiccan and Pagan ways". But that I think is too pretentious. So I'm going to tell you all why I decided that being a Pagan is for me.

First of all, I have always believed in a higher power. Some call that power God, some Goddess. There are those that call it by many different names over many different religions. I call this higher power Goddess and God. Two sides of the same coin if you will or two aspects of the same being. This has always been how I looked at the divine power in the universe.

Christianity has lost it's focus (at least to me). Everywhere I went looking for answers, I was told that the only way to reach God is through Jesus Christ. I can understand that and compliment a religion based on one man's sacrifice for the betterment of the world. However - and correct me if I'm wrong - The ten commandments state "Thou shalt worship no God before me". Then Christ comes along and you base a religion on his name, you even pray to Jesus over God. In essence elevating the man over the divine essence. I also didn't like the "Fire and Brimstone" approach that most put on it. Do it this way or go to Hell.

I'm not trying to start a flame war with Christianity, I'm just giving you my thoughts. If you are insecure with that, maybe you need to re-evaluate your faith. I know I did. If you're secure enough in your faith, then this should slide off your back and you can get on with your life.

Then there is the whole "Heaven and Hell" thing. But that wasn't enough, so Purgatory was created. Then the Guff - a seperate heaven for all the unborn souls out there. Have you also ever wondered why Satan is only seen or heard of in two world religions? And those are considered the two youngest of the world religions - Christianity and Muslim. It's because you catch more followers to your way if you have the ultimate bad guy out there to threaten your followers with. It's also to explain away the acts of some of your more notorious historical figures in the church and out. "The Devil made me do it". Bullshit. Greed, anger, racial and religious intolerance are to blame for most of the worlds past evils.

OK, now that I've gone and pissed off half of the western hemisphere, let me get to what being a Pagan means to me. It means first of all, that I believe in reincarnation. Something that actually agrees with the laws of conservation of matter and energy. It also means that I feel more in tune with nature. No, I'm not a tree hugger, although there are certain trees that are considered holy to my faith and I'll go out of my way to protect those trees from the shortcomings of others. I'm also not a vegetarian. I eat meat - all kinds of meat - and hunt it. Yes I said hunt - for food. I'm not going to go after that trophy buck. I'll take the animal that comes along and thank my Goddess and God for the kill as it was ready to die and feed me.

It means that a set of rituals is in place to help guide me and let me meditate on my choices. The discipline that comes from that is not found in any other western religion. It also means that I can pray to my Goddess and God when I choose, not when a "Church" tells me I must. I spend my money on helping others and feel good about it. I don't tythe to let the the "Church" fill it's coffers and tell people that "God wills it".

Furthermore, I don't try and force my beliefs on anyone else. If you want to know more about my religion, ask me. I may not have the answers you're looking for, but I might be able to point you in the right direction for your search. I'm not going to go and spout off about how great my religion is over all others. It was the right choice for me - that's all.

Then there's the symbol of my faith - the pentacle or pentagram. It's gotten as much or more bad press that the Swastika - and that was originally a native american symbol. The pentacle means several things. None of which have to do with worshipping Satan. We Pagans don't believe in such a being. In one respect the five pointed star is the five senses - sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste - surrounded by the circle representing the sixth sense, or psychic intuition. In another sense it represents the elements - Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit. Yet in another respect it represents man or woman - the lower points of the star are the legs, the upper points are the arms and head, surrounded by the circle of life. This is the same symbol worn by Pythagoras and his followers that got him killed for being a heretic by the Catholic church.

If you see me walking down the street and see me wearing it, please stop and think. Don't automatically assume that it's a symbol of evil and I'm a Satanist. Nothing could be further from the truth. I've just chosen to worship the divine essence in a way that's different from you, that all.

Blessed Be.

Time change irritates me

I gotta say, this time change every fall ticks me off to no end. Mostly because unlike most people, I don't get that extra hour of sleep. Oh no. In fact, I get to work an extra hour that night while the casino takes advantage of the revenue that hour brings in. Og course that's also the State's fault for letting the casinos get that extra hour of revenue to pad their coffers as well.

Then there's the whole psychological aspect and screwing up my personal time.

My dog's don't get it. I'm now gone an extra hour or more and they're stuck in the house waiting for me to come home and let them out. I can imagine what's going through their heads. Did something happen to me? Did I leave them for another dog? What'll we do if he don't come back soon? My bladder's about to burst!!!

Then there's the fact that I didn't wake up until three this afternoon! Of course that's entirely my fault for not going to bed until well after the sun was up. I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

But it makes me wonder why it came about in the first place. If I recall, it was originally supposed to help the farmers. The farmers didn't give a damn. They've always been up before the sun and working in the fields all day. What did they care if the time was suddenly an hour earlier or later. Most of them didn't wear watches anyway. They knew what time it was by the sun. If they were harversting, they knew to have the crops out of the field and to the market by sundown.

Then it was so that children didn't have to wait for the bus or walk to school in the dark. Hmm, most of the kids around here are at school before the sun's completely up anyway as the school up here is on a four day week. The kids are in school from six in the morning until four in the afternoon. So where does that help them?

Don't know where I'm going with this rant other than to get it off my chest for now. Time to get ready for work.

Been a While

The creative juices just haven't been flowing lately. I've been sitting here looking at story lines that I've got ideas for and I'm just not getting inspiration from them. My current work - A New Home - seems to be falling off to the wayside. Right now I'm stuck on a part where things need to come together in a certain order to get them out of it alive and it feels too hoakey to me. I'll get it together, but it's taking a while.

We had our first good snowstorm up here last Sunday. THe storm dropped over five inches and it's still hanging around. That's the problem with living at the base on the north side of a mountain - no sun in the fall and winter.

I guess since I've been pro Rockies, I should put something in here about them too. I have to admit, I'm not happy with the way they've been playing so far in the World Series, but it was to be expected. Still, they've got three games coming up at home and I hope the do better. I still pray that they win the whole thing, but I'm satisfied that they actually got to go to the World Series itself. That's quite an accomplishment. Someone has to lose the thing, So it's cool with me. The Rockies are still one hell of a team to have gotten this far. I predicted they would lose the first two games anyway, I just didn't expect them to do so badly in the first game. Now it's time for them to come back from behind and win it. One can hope anyway.

Still got puppies growing up in the house. a little over a week and a half and they'll be going to new homes - YES!!! I love the little guys but they're beginning to get on my nerves. All they want to do is play and I got a lot of stuff to do. Even Star - the mother - is getting fed up with them.

That's it for now.

I was on for how long?

Ok, So I'm probably one of the last few people to ever hear about Anarchy Online. So it took me just over a week to figure out why my computer wouldn't register the game once I downloaded it. So it took another day and a half to finally get online to play it because one of the patch servers was down. I got to tell you, I really like playing it. So much in fact that I didn't even realize I'd just spent the past twelve hours playing it.

The graphics are decent, and the play is a little intense, but I spent most of the time figuring out how to work everything and going up twelve levels. A level an hour, that's not too bad. Gave me a break from reality for a little while and still allowed me to pass the time on my short break (split days off).

I like the free play set up they have. If I ever get done with everything in the free version, I just might upgrade to the other versions they have available. I am intrigued, but it's gonna be a while before I get it all figured out.

The Rockies Make History and head for the WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to admit, I was in tears when the Rockies won. This is the first team I've ever rooted for in Major League Baseball, so you can hopefully imageine how psyched I am to have my "Home Team" win the National League title.

That they did it with a sweep of both the Division and National League titles is absolutely amazing and a first in history. Oh my, you have no idea how psyched I am.

I'll tell you though, this team has kept me stressed for the entire post season to get to this point. But as Jamie Hawkins says "We're Not Done Yet!" Eight days off, then we go on to WIN the World Series.

Congratulations Colorado Rockies, you deserve it. Here's my hopes and prayers that you go on to win the whole thing.

The Rockies won Game 3 and will hopefully sweep the Series

This post is a little late this time, but I'm psyched like you wouldn't beleive. The Rockies have a chnace of clinching the National League title tonight and I for one believe they'll do it. It was a nerve wracking game last night until the Rockies took the lead in the sixth inning off of a three run Homer by Torrealba. Damn he's hitting good in the post season. I'm just wating now for Game four to start tonight. Wish I could have afforded tickets, but unfortunately I had bills to pay.

Anyway, Here's my good luck wish and prayer for a clean sweep of the Diamondbacks.

Rewrite: A New Home Part 1: Death and Rebirth

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